People don’t necessarily think to work on their confidence before going on a date. However, being more relaxed and calm during a date will allow you to have a clear head, feel more spontaneous, and relaxed, all of which will score you points, have more fun and increase the likelihood to come across as more natural and attractive. But Letting your initial emotional reaction and your imagination take control of you, becoming nervous and feeling fear isn’t going to help you win dates. As Patti said, by putting 5% more planning into a date, may save you from occurred silences.
Here are some good examples on how to boost your Confidence before going on a date
Some people make a list of potential topics of conversation they can fall back on if the conversation starts running drier like a burnt toast and that’s not actually a bad idea. Writing down a possible list of things you could talk about or ask about and then forgetting about it is a good thing. Because you’ve thought about it, it’s now in your head, lurking about at the back of your mind. If these ideas come out naturally during conversation, all well and good; if they don’t, no matter. But because you’ve planted these ideas in your mind, they are more likely to arise spontaneously during your date.
Let your clothes give you confidence
Wear clothes you feel suit you. It sounds obvious, but feeling well spruced actually makes us feel better about everything. We might like to think appearances shouldn’t matter, but how we dress and present ourselves sends inevitable signals to others. Invest in a massage or other beauty treatments before the date, not just for the date but because doing this will make you feel good anyway. Alternatively, you could exercise before the date. What, and arrive all sweaty? No, obviously shower afterwards! But seriously; a gentle run in the park or a game of table tennis or quick visit to the gym can help to dispel nerves because you’ll be using up energy and flooding your system with feel good chemicals, which instantly lift your confidence. We all look better after moderate exercise too, the skin looks glowing and the eyes sparkling.
Forget about looks
Sure it’s a cliché to say looks don’t matter, that we should all focus on what’s really important; but judging by the media, you wouldn’t think there were any more important things. You may be drop dead gorgeous for all I know, but here’s an interesting idea: Most women looking for a long-term male partner don’t want ‘incredibly handsome’. Because they may feel a really handsome man is less likely to be a good long-term bet. He may be more likely to wander and direct his affections elsewhere. And men may feel that a ridiculously beautiful woman will be harder to ‘keep’ and more aloof. Research has also found that men prefer at least for relationships, an average women or girl-next-door types rather than super-beautiful women. So looks are important, sure; but you don’t have to look intimidatingly beautiful.
Erase desperation as a strategy
It’s just a date. If you put the person off by saying the wrong thing, then they weren’t dating material for you anyway. Desperation is driven by anxiety and fear and other people pick up on that. Don’t be looking for signs of rejection or even commitment. it’s just a friendly chance to have fun and maybe get to know each other a little better. Desperately thinking like “he or she might be the one”, expecting that it should lead to marriage or kids, is way too intense a mindset for what, after all, may lead to something or nothing. Dating is just a chance to explore possibilities. Don’t try and rush things or be too pushy. When you visit a new area, you don’t have to decide straight off whether you are going to move there. You just relax, take in the sights, take your time, and see whether it starts to feel right for you
Put your date at their ease
Remember Mark? He was so wrapped up in his own dating anxiety that he didn’t even stop to think that Hellen might be anxious too. Taking the onus off yourself and working to help the other person relax has a two-way benefit. It helps them feel special and more at ease and makes you feel more calm and confident because you have diverted your focus away from yourself. The language you use is very powerful and affects the other person. Imagine having a date with someone if every other word they used were ones like: “anxious, depressed, bleak, tired, down, useless..You’d feel pretty terrible after such a date because of the subliminal effect words have on our consciousness. Even if your date was describing, say, her sister, the overwhelmingly negative effect of the words would start to impact how you feel. Sprinkle your language with happy-words like: pleased, relaxed, comfortable, interesting, exciting, thrilled,” and so on – pretty soon your date will start to feel good and this will make them feel good about you.
Read more dating tips, login at eaimee